Nancy Pelosi unleashes new weapon amidst a crowded shopping mall in southern New York

Monseratte De Jeauviehrain (pictured to the left) was one of the nearly 3,000 casualties at a violent attack that occurred at high noon last Wednesday. Eye witness accounts differ, however it is a certified fact that at precisely noon, Speaker of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi, entered through the north doors of the De Lapos shopping mall and began to unleash her fury. Within thirty seconds all people of color within the mall had collapsed to the hard granite floors after the life was sucked from their brains and hearts. Monseratte (pictured to the left) was searching for his son at the time the attack begun. Shaun De Jeauviehrain, only 12 years old at the time of his death, had wandered off during the pair's shopping adventure. Monseratte called out frantically for his young son but never found him.